Day 13 – Love Is Patient and Longsuffering

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love” Ephesians 4:2 (NKJV).

We have been told to love, for love is not an option. We have been given by the Spirit the ability to love with agape love. Patience is another name for love, as Paul explained that “love is patient.” Therefore, as we work through our difficult relationships, we will need to be patient. The meaning of the word patience in the Greek is “macrothumea” which is “long-suffering” or “slow to anger.” In other words, Abraham needed to be patient towards his situation, and his struggles, while waiting for God to make good on His word. Patience is love waiting out a suffering situation, because it is longsuffering with endurance and perseverance. If pain cannot be avoided, then pain must be accepted. When defined as “waiting without complaint,” patience might seem to be a morally insignificant trait. What’ s so virtuous about not complaining? In itself, not complaining carries no particular virtue. What we need to do is go with the pain and allow the pain to drive us to God. Love suffers because it is the nature of love to suffer. Job is one the greatest stories of a man acting in patience instead of disobedience to God. James mentions Job and also the prophets when he gives us examples of how we are to act when we are in difficult situations. Job was finally rewarded for his dependence on God. Abraham also “having patiently waited, obtained the promise”. “Saying,“Surely blessing I will bless you, and multiplying I will multiply you.” And so, after he had patiently endured, he obtained the promise” Hebrews 6:14-15 (NKJV).

There is no alternative, we are not only called to love, but we are also commanded to love. The Bible contains numerous examples of people who were characterized by their patience in the face of trials. Jesus exhibited patience as well when he was led to the cross. We are to treat others with patience wherever we go because people are different from us, and we don’t know the battles they face each day. It’s hard to be patient with others in this fast-paced and trendy world where many want things done instantly. But if we take the time to be patient, we will be sharing God’s love with others. After making the point that love is a necessary ingredient in all ministry, the apostle Paul begins to describe love. Love melts away the impatience and frustration that so often hamper one’s dealings with others. A human's natural response is impatience and frustration, but since we have been made new creations in Christ, we can practice developing patience. Patient (patience) can be connected to “endurance,” “the fact or power of enduring an unpleasant or difficult process or situation without giving way”. Patience is not often easy to demonstrate. Looking for the perfect job, waiting for a life partner, hoping to conceive children, being the victim of an injustice, long lines at the checkout counter, and bumper-to-bumper traffic are just a few of the situations in which it is easy to be impatient. Often, we can even feel that our impatience is a righteous anger in the face of irritations and trials. “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love” Ephesians 4:2 (NKJV).

It is human to feel this impatience, but we are called to trust in God's divine timing, sovereignty, and love. So, there’s no disputing that the Christian ought to be patient. But as with most of the virtues, the biblical writers assume that we know what patience is and don't give an explicit definition. Though patience is often associated with waiting, and waiting is often associated with passivity or a gentle tolerance, the biblical meaning of patience does not imply passivity. Because our human nature is not inclined towards patience, we must make the choice to build patience into our character. As with everything else, however, we need God's strength and grace to develop this fruit in our lives. The trials that we face are opportunities for us to perfect our patience through Christ's support. We are called to rest in God’s perfect timing, which is beyond our linear understanding, when we face unfairness and wicked schemes. Because we are imperfect creatures serving side by side on this journey called life, it’s only realistic to expect that from time to time, our brothers and sisters in Christ can and may irritate us and we may do the same to them. But patience, forbearance and longsuffering can help us to cope and deal with the minor scrapes and scratches we sustain in our dealings with others, without disrupting our inner peace or peace within the fellowship of believers. “With all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” Ephesians 4:2–3 (NKJV).

Godly love and a patient spirit go hand in hand. Love is also mentioned there, revealing the close connection between these two attributes. Both love and patience (longsuffering) are products of the Spirit’s presence in one’s life. Since God is love, He is necessarily patient. Even in judgment, God’s patience is evident: “God’s patience waited in the days of Noah.” “Who formerly were disobedient, when once the Divine longsuffering waited in the days of Noah, while the ark was being prepared, in which a few, that is, eight souls, were saved through water” 1 Peter 3:20 (NKJV). The Corinthians needed patience. Their sin of improperly taking the Lord’s Supper, for example, was partly the result of impatience and refusing to wait for others. Arguments regarding spiritual gifts were likewise partly attributable to a lack of patience. An insistence on one’s own schedule is selfish, and it is opposed to godly love. Patient endurance and long-suffering are hallmarks of a loving character. Love melts away the impatience and frustration that so often hamper one’s dealings with others. When the object of one’s love fails or disappoints in some way, what is the proper response? According to 1 Corinthians 13:4, the loving response is patience. Patient endurance and long-suffering are hallmarks of a loving character. We have the strength of God and the hope in God's promise to always work in our favor to lean on while we develop this difficult characteristic. “Will render to each one according to his deeds”: eternal life to those who by patient continuance in doing good seek for glory, honor, and immortality” Romans 2:6-7 (NKJV).