Special Series: How Do You Forgive, What You Can't Forget - Day Four

How Do You Forgive, What You Can't Forgive – Conclusion: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” 1 John 1:9 (NKJV). Forgiveness is a choice, Swartz says. “You are choosing to offer compassion and empathy to the person who wronged you.” By exposing your wounds to Christ, our Lord and Savior not only do you receive supernatural healing from your past hurts, pain and suffering, you can now walk in His marvelous light that has transformed your “brokenness” to “blessedness”. Consequently, they tend to be more satisfied with their lives and to have less depression, anxiety, stress, anger and hostility. So, the next time you find yourself feeling hurt by someone’s actions or overwhelmed with frustration over a situation that occurred, turn to the Bible for advice. Never forget that the bible clearly tells us to forgive, just as our Father in heaven has forgiven us. Clearly, we want to be obedient and walk in obedience with Christ.“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” Matthew 6:14–15 (NKJV).

To experience the life-giving nature of forgiveness, try putting into practice these six steps each time you are hurt by another person.

1. Admit that you have needed forgiveness in the past. We all make mistakes. We’ve all hurt other people in the past. One of the key steps in being able to practice the power of forgiveness is to realize that you have needed forgiveness at some point in your life too. When we are able to humbly admit that we have needed forgiveness from another, we are in a better position to offer forgiveness to someone who has hurt us. “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you” Ephesians 4:31–32 (NKJV).

2. Understand what forgiveness is not. You were wronged. Don’t minimize the offense by pretending it didn’t happen. Granted, if you were hurt accidentally, you only need to show patience. But if you were hurt intentionally, you’ll need to accept that fact and show forgiveness. “Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion. Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men” Romans 12:16–17 (NKJV).

3. Realize the difference between forgiveness and trust. One of the most misunderstood aspects of forgiveness is when it is confused with trust. Depending on the nature of the offense, your ability to trust has been deeply compromised. Forgiving somebody does not mean that you need to restore that relationship without changes. Remember that forgiveness can be instant, but trust must be built over a period of time. Realize the difference. While offering forgiveness brings freedom, being wise about trust can protect your heart in the future. “And when He had said this, He breathed on them, and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained” John 20:22–23 (NKJV).

4. Give up your right to get even. Too many people live life keeping score. They keep a mental list of people who have wronged them in the past and live their life looking for opportunities to get even. Forgiveness provides the opportunity to erase the list and to release your heart from the burden of revenge. “Then likewise he sprinkled with blood both the tabernacle and all the vessels of the ministry. And according to the law almost all things are purified with blood, and without shedding of blood there is no remission” Hebrews 9:21–22 (NKJV).